Tuesday, April 12, 2016

There's Something About Clara

You have all probably encountered a person in your life at one point or another. They are there, and even though they aren't being overtly rude or mean or obnoxious, you don't like 'em. Even when they go out of their way to be exceptionally nice, you look for what they are really after.
That's the way I feel about Clara.
Well not at first, and then she started giving me reason to distrust her.
Like when she made a comment comparing how much food we had bought for the gemelos in comparison to what J. would buy. How the hell did she know anything about that? Not from him I am sure, so...
And how her marido just happened to work in the same store where the bed for the gemelos was bought, yet neither of them knew J. had bought furniture there....
And her insistence that everyone who I seemed to like was a double agent working with Princessa Lisset (I have learned that it is better to use her real name out load. Something about empowerment. The princessa should have a sarcastic font) got to be too much, especially after she accused my comadre.
Yet surprisingly, what turned me off the most was the love triangle she created, and no it had nothing to do with the princessa lisset.
You see, my babysitter has, or I should say had, a girlfriend. For close to 20 years he had a relationship with a woman who lived close by to my house. I don't know her well, but she has never done me dirty, so she's a good egg in my book.
Well when he "fell in love" with Clara, he basically dropped the girlfriend like a hot tamale. Well, I take that back. First he was trying to hide the whole thing. Would lie to her when with Clara, would lie to Clara if he went to her house. Tried to get me to cover his lying ass, but after the shit that I went through I was having none of it. In fact, I was clearly on Team Girlfriend.
So one day he and Clara got lost. Went to a place called Chinameca on the bus. (The reason is another 40 day story for another day). She was not supposed to go. He had been sent on private family business. So none of us were the wiser that they were together.
Girlfriend stopped by to drop off dinner for him, and surprisingly she asked me if Clara was there. I thought this was odd, but answered truthfully " thankfully no." She said that he was going to be late, was still in San Miguel on the bus and then left.
He called and gave me the same story, and then showed up at the house 10 minutes later.
So here's what happened:
Girlfriend saw him and Clara getting off the bus in front of her block. Girlfriend went to Clara's house, knocked on the door and then demanded that he come outside. He left, and came home. Told me none of this at first. I got the jist from Clara.
Over the next few days I convinced him that he should stay with the girlfriend. Even gave him flowers to go and give to her as an "I'm sorry". And then it happened again. Except this time when she knocked, she told Clara that she wanted to speak with Clara's marido. Oh shit. Now things are getting complicated.
So, to make a long story short my babysitter is now single and his ex heartbroken. Meanwhile, Clara continues to manipulate him, even after myself and others have pointed out her many lies and flaws. As you can imagine as this drama was unfolding around me, that I was kind of numb to the whole thing. Actually thought it was rude and gross that these two used this time to fuck around. And as a result, hurt more people.
She is still going, messaging me on FB every now and again. Throws things out there to see if I will take the bait, tells me lies that make no sense and sometimes even hints that she needs money. As if.
Clara is a garrapata, a bottom feeder, a troll if you will. /A poor excuse for  a human being who saw a way to take advantage of a shitty situation, and did so with no thought and no remorse.
The answer is there, right under my thumb. I. just. can't. seem. to. get. my. finger. on. it. But the truth will come out sooner or later, it always does.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

The Benefit of Benefits

So I lost it at the clinic yesterday....
Obviously the money I was making in ES is not enough to cover the mountain of expenses in the US but.. There are benefits! Food stamps, assistance, and medical care. Yippee! Most of which you can apply for now online and then after verifying blah blah blah... you're in.
I don't qualify for a lot of that stuff.
There is a benefit to benefits however.
You get to go to the department of social services and wait there to be told no. And while you are waiting you get to hear everyone's tale of woe. Sob story after sob story. I am shocked at how much people are willing to tell complete strangers. Like we give a fuck. We have our own sob story.
So the benefits of benefits is now knowing that their are people out there who are worse off then me. Give them the benefits, since clearly they don't even have the sense to not tell random strangers how they just spent a month in the psych ward. I will just try and manage with what I got, especially this medical stuff.
Which leads me back to the clinic yesterday....
They should stop leaving people on hold for an hour. Three days of this with no call backs. So after another half hour hold I went there, phone in hand still on hold, for the referrals that I need for my son. She told me to call to make the appointments. I turned the volume up on the phone and asked her if she could just answer the call I was on hold for now.
She got the benefit of my crazy.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Who The Hell Is Clara?

The entire 40+ days starting on Christmas Eve were nothing short of bizarre, and there is likely a book just in those moments. But one of the most mysterious was/is Clara, and the way in which she used a tragedy to weasel in.
She showed up in the morning of the 24th, right around the same time as those few people I had called and asked to show up. I assumed she came with my cunada, my cunada assumed I knew her, and that is how the confusion begins.
So here we are, trusting in this Clara to help with very personal and delicate details throughout the entire funeral. She was actually one of those who held me back at the cemetary, and called for the police to escort the bitch outside.
She knew the buttons to push to gain my trust at first, and she did. (Stupid me) but not for long. By the middle of the 9 days, my head came out of the clouds briefly and I started asking questions...
Turned out, no one really knew who Clara was.
She was definitely not a "great" friend of Juan like she claimed. And my son didn't know her like she said he did. And she lied... a lot. Lies always make my red flags go up, not so much for the lie itself but for the why? Why tell me that my trusted friend was a friend of the whore? Well of course, to alienate me further from people I did trust, so that I would put more trust in you.
That didn't work for long.
My distrust in her made her angry, I could see it in her face sometimes. There was a competition of sorts for someone to come and wash clothes during the 40 days. I didn't want it. She went around me to the "man" who was staying in the house to "protect" us. Through him, she won. but only to wash his clothes, thanks but no thanks bitch, leave my stuff alone.
And I know what some of you are thinking now, just another amante of Juan's. But no, that was not the case, I checked. She knew him in passing, through mutual friends and maybe even the prostitute, but she never spent that type of time with him.
So what was her end game?
Money maybe? the house after I left? I don't know and try not to care, but I still think about it sometimes.
Think of how there are people in this world who look at one's suffering as a way to gain. Sick and twisted to take advantage of a person in shock, a person in mourning, to weasel your way in and then expect some type of compensation. But such is life for some people, I just strive to be above that.
She may think at times that she "bested" me. That I never saw through the facade. Yet I managed to pull of stuff behind her back that still has her (and others) scratching their heads.
Screw me once they say... I have learned my lesson. No one gets to screw me twice anymore.
So who the hell is Clara? Some desperate nobody who desperately tries to manipulate and control people she sees as weak. She misread me big time.
More on Clara next time.....

Monday, March 21, 2016

I Love This Article!

I happened on this article by chance and fell in love. This says so much about the mindset of people in the United States and this attitude of being able to adopt what they want and like about a culture or country and treat the rest like trash. Kudos to the author. My personal situation and permanent residence may have changed drastically, but I still love El Salvador, and all that is has given me. The people there deserve better, and I thank God that there are still individuals willing to point that out.

Read This if You Love Pupusas

Friday, March 18, 2016

Reverse Culture Shock

The phrase was thrown at me by a friend as I lamented about the cost of bagels. Reverse culture shock. This is a real thing, and is what happens when you spend so many years outside of your comfort zone that a return to it literally puts you into shock.
I keep starting sentences in Spanish, even at the library (yes, a library card is a priority for me) and then have to stop and start all over again when I get that confused look.
We have some health issues to deal with too. I guess the stomach didn't like the sudden influx of "foreign food" and is still refusing to process it at a normal rate. Reverse curso is equally frustrating as its Salvadoran counterpart. Juanito even spent a day at the ER, puzzling the doctors with an array of symptoms that I know just to be a normal part of the mosquito virus process. This country is doomed to extinction if Zika ever hits as hard as it has hit Central America, but that's another topic for another day.
And speaking of Juanito, he has finally been enrolled in school. A process that I was hoping could wait until the new year, as I don't necessarily think it's a great idea to thrust him into this so soon after so much change. Yet that is law of the land, and since waiting out the last few months of the school year at home in ES was no longer an option he will have to deal with it.
Which leads me to the topic of US bureaucracy, and the circle of paperwork that is needed for just about everything. How is one supposed to show proof of address if no one will mail you anything without a proof of address? It's a vicious cycle that no one who has never left here for an extended period of time can ever understand.
But again, it's baby steps. Library card? Check. Phone in my name? Check. School? Check. 3 things down an a seemingly million left to go. At least I got the gumption to start blogging again.
Reverse culture shock, on top of shock. I keep staring at that corner and wishing to hide in it with my thumb stuck in my mouth until all of this shock finally wears off, until a new normal finally kicks in.
Baby steps....

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Undisclosed Destination

Elvis has left the armpit... That is what my FB post read to a select few as we sat in an airport waiting for a connecting flight. My new post would read "Elvis has left the right armpit for the left one" had I known at the time what our undisclosed destination looked like.
Leaving was a bitch, and involved the help of a few GREAT friends (you know who you are) that helped with places to stay, airline miles, food, and huge amounts of support all while staying very quiet about our plans. I will never be able to thank them enough for the help they provided in helping us leave.
Did I leave with my tail between my legs? No. My head is held high knowing that I did the absolute best I could for the people I care about and once there was nothing more I could do, I left. I left before something even worse than what already had, happened to the one person I care the most about. I dare anyone to try and tell me now that I am selfish or don't care about my kid. Unless you have personally gone through the horror movie like type shit that we just went through, you have no ground on which to base your judgement on.
Am I sad? Of course. That was our home for a long time. We miss having a home now. We miss being able to wash clothes every day, and the mangoes. and Lucy and her puppies. Certain things and people I can't even think about without tearing up. But life moves on, and slowly but surely we will too.