Friday, February 3, 2012

Customer Appreciation Day 02/03/2013

Friday so I am participating in Spanish Friday. Here's the link:
I had so much fun with last weeks post that I decided to try it again. I've been working on this since Monday so I hope there are less mistakes. I did cheat a little with google translate this time but the actual conversation parts I tried to keep as they sound to me. If you are wondering why these customers get my appreciation, it is for the comic relief. The English translation is below the picture.

Un Domingo, también tranquilo:
Tan tan tan. Dos bolos en mi puerta.
Bolo1: "¿Juan?"
Yo: "está durmiendo"
Bolo1: "un quarter de cigarros" (pero quarter suena como corta)
Yo: "ba" y yo trajera quatro cigarros en una bolsa. Pero ahora el es actuando tanto, entonces de segundo bolo habla.
Bolo2: "Él conoce Juan"
Yo: "¿Y?"
Bolo2: "Él conoce Juan"
Yo: "Yo conoce Juan también"
Bolo2: "¿Es su esposo?"
Yo: "¿Quiero los cigaros o no?" Ahora él buscar por una moneda en la bolsa.
Bolo2: "¿Una quarter?"
Yo: "Si"
Bolo2: "Pero él conoce su esposo"
Yo: "Yo también conoce mi esposo. ¿Quiero los cigarros o no?" Triste, Él me da una quarter y se fue.
Una hora despues:
Tan tan tan. Ultra bolo.
Bolo3: "Cheli! Yo queiro una soda."
Yo: "¿De quali bo?"
Bolo3: "No molestando cheli, no molestando. Solo quiero una soda de los pequenos" Yo trajera uno Salva cola de .20 centavos.
Bolo3: "No molestando cheli, no molestando. Dame uno en latte." Él pone .30 centavos en mi mano.
Yo: "Falta .20 centavos por una de latte. Está vali .20 centavos. Justa por uno de esto con .10 centavos vuelto."
Bolo3: "No molestando cheli, damelo. No molestando. Mucho gracias cheli, no molestando." y se fue.
Una hora despues:
Tan tan tan. Bolo 1 vuelve solo.
Bolo1: "¿y Juan?"
Yo: "durmiendo todavia." y se fue.

One quiet, Sunday afternoon:
Knock knock. Two drunks are at my door.
Drunk1: "Is Juan here?"
Me: "He's asleep"
Drunk1: "Give me a quarter of cigarrettes." (Except here they pronounce quarter corta)
Me: "Ok" And I bring him 4 cigarrettes in a bag. But now he is acting stupid so the second drunk starts talking.
Drunk2: "He knows Juan"
Me: "And?"
Drunk2: "He knows Juan"
Me: "So do I"
Drunk2: "He's your husband?"
Me: "Do you want the cigarettes or not?" Now he starts looking for change in his pockets.
Drunk2: "One quarter?"
Me: "Yes"
Drunk2: "But he knows your husband"
Me: "I know my husband too. Do you want the cigarettes or not?" Sad, he gives me a quarter and they leave.
One hour later:
Knock knock. Another drunk.
Drunk3: "Whitey! I want a soda."
Me: "What kind?"
Drunk3: "I'm not bothering whitey, I'm not bothering. I only want a small soda" I bring him a .20 cent Salva Cola.
Drunk3: "I'm not bothering whitey, I'm not bothering. Give me one in a can." He gives me .30 cents.
Me: "You need .20 cents more for a soda in a can. This one costs .20 cents. You have enough for this one with .10 cents change."
Drunk3: "I'm not bothering whitey, give it to me. I'm not bothering. Thank you very much whitey, I'm not bothering." And he leaves.
One hour later:
Knock knock. Drunk 1 is back alone.
Drunk1: "And Juan?"
Me: "Still sleeping." And he leaves.


Jennifer Brunk said...

Customer appreciation...haha. Good for you to keep your sense of humor. It's not easy to do when you're dealing with drunks!

JenniferM said...

jaja, qué chistoso que quería un descuento por conocer a tu marido!

jules said...

I could read these everyday! Not sure I'd translate Chele to whitey though. Whitey sounds offensive whereas, I dont know but where I lived Chele means you have white skin but it wasn't an offensive term.

actuando tanto should be tonto
and el conoce pero yo conozco.
i dont usually like to correct people at all but just thought it might be helpful. I love reading these. they remind me so much of chalate

Isolated Existence. said...

ROFL! at "But he knows your husband" "I know my husband too"

Good post!

Estrellita said...

That's hysterical! I love a smartass. I always tell my son horror stories from my restaurant days. His favorite is this one. There was always an asshole who would make an unreasonable request (dinner ten minutes after we closed, drinks after last call, a table for 8 with no wait at 7pm on Saturday.) When their requests were politely denied, they always pulled "I know the owner." My reply? "My goodness! Really? So do I!" Do it in a ditzy voice and no one can tell if you're an idiot or a smartass.

Tara said...

I'm loving your customer appreciation post! This made me laugh...